Dating While Ill-Equiped

I am one to share my triumphs and trials as a means to be a blessing to others.  I mean why, allow someone to go through the pain of something you've experienced, if you can help.  Right?  So allow me to share with you an experience of my failed attempt at dating while ill-equipped.

I have been divorced for a year now and called myself "grown" enough to date.  Boy, was I wrong.!!  But that is okay.  Why?  Because I've learned that we win some and we learn some.  Plus I believe that all things truly do work together for my good and nothing is ever a wasted experience.

The gentleman I was seeing was someone I thought was "safe," someone I have known for a few years and appeared to be a good guy.  Yes, I still believe he is a good guy but just like most of us, he has baggage from his past.  Now, I could have easily blamed things not working between the two of us solely on him.  But that is both unfair and inaccurate.  It truly takes two to make or break a relationship of any nature and granted we both played our part, I can only own and correct things from my end.

As I write this I am laughing at myself because I swore that I was ready to conquer the dating scene.  Sadly, that was not the case because I thought I came off confidently but in reality to the opposite sex I wreaked of desperation and uncertainty.  Like I said I believe all things really do work for the good, being divorced and raising a child alone at this time, I subconsciously internalized that as a failure and something I did wrong.  And because of that assessment I was attracting into my life people and things that directly reflected that, "hey, Cyrelle, really isn't feeling that great about herself."

It wasn't until I was ready to be truthful and honest could I begin the healing process necessary to move on with my life beyond my past.  I had to look myself in the mirror and say, "yes, you've made some mistakes and lost somethings but you are not what you've been through, so get up and KEEP LIVING." 

This is something I have to tell myself daily, there are times I have to say it all day long but it is something that helps me be better equipped for life in all aspects especially dating.  The great thing about doing this self-assessment and not playing the blame game, is it  helps me to deal with past issues and all residual past relationships that I was carrying around with me.  I am learning daily that driving while texting is not the only dangerous activities people engage into but so is dating while ill-equipped. 

How many of us are guilty of  masking lust for love due to loneliness and fear?  How many of us are making permanent life choices based upon limited yet ever changing emotions?  I know dating can be fun but it can also be reckless, if one is not emotionally mature nor healthy enough.  So before you or I embark upon dating make sure that you are equipped and prepared to handle it.

Now excuse me as I prepare for my date with someone I love dearly.  That's right, ME

Remember only you can prevent toxic relationships from staying in your life.